God-realization by the Householder – Sri Ramakrishna

Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa, who experienced spiritual ecstasies from a young age, had both kinds of disciples-the householders and monastics, some of whom were later to become monks. There was also a small group of women devotees. The householder devotees were Ramchandra Dutta, Manmohan Mitra, Durgacharan Nag, etc. His monastic disciples included Narandranath Dutta (Swami Vivekanada), Rakhal Chandra (Swami Brahmananda), Baburam Ghosh (Swami Premananda), Taraknath Ghoshal (Swami Shivananda), etc. He concluded as under:

1. Everybody has to bear fruits of their action – good or bad. The pleasure and pain are inevitable when the soul accepts a body. The truth is that one must reap the result of the parabdha karma. The body remains as long as the results of past actions do not completely wear away.
2. One should have passionate longing to lose one’s identity. Once one has realized the indwelling divinity of his own nature, he automatically sees the same divinity dwelling equally within all beings and all things. In order to develop yearning and passionate love of God (anuraga) one also had to cultivate dispassion (viraga) and the renunciation of lust and greed. Passion for God-realization should be the highest goal.
3. Sri Ramakrishna said: the ego is like the roots of a banyan tree. You cut down the tree, and the next day it shoots back up, whatever amount of energy you may spend to remove the ego, again it comes up. So Ramakrishna said, ‘If ego doesn’t go, keep it as a servant.
4. He told, “Renunciation is essential. This does not merely mean that one must forsake worldly joys and sorrows, or rise above them and live in the world. The aim is also not merely freedom in the material sense-the achievement of the ‘minor right of thought, opinion and action’ – in the western conception. It means the jivatma (individual soul) freeing itself from the bondage of parkriti or maya. It is to cut with the sward of jnana the nexus that holds one’s soul captive in maya’s toil and to realize its identity with Brahman or the supreme soul-to be able to say, ‘Aham brahmasmi (I am Brahman), Om Tat Sat (I am He).”
5. The grace of God is required. Mere personal effort is futile.  

 
Spiritual steps for householders:

1. For householder, there are four fruits: dharma, artha, kama and moksha. For jnana, liberation is the fruit. For Bhakta, love of God without any motive. They seek neither dharma nor artha nor karma. A householder needs money to support his family. He should save up to feed them. He should perform his duties without attachment; he surrenders the fruit of his work to God-his gain or loss, his pleasure or pain-and day and night he prays for devotion and for nothing else.
2. In the world a man must fight against passions like lust and anger, against many desires, against attachment. It is convenient to fight from inside a fort-from his house. At home he gets his food and other help from his wife. For householders, he did not prescribe the total renunciation. Their renunciation was to be mental. Spiritual life could not be acquired by flying away from responsibilities. Live in the world.
3. Invoke the Deity, and then give lectures to your mind’s content. Plunge to the bottom and gather up the gems.
4. By meditating in solitude the mind acquires knowledge, dispassion and devotion. One should go into solitude every now and then to strengthen their devotion and faith in God through prayer, japa and meditation.  Tears shed for God wash away the sins of former births.
5. By repeating the name of Krishna or Rama a person transforms his physical body into spiritual body.
6. Surrender yourself completely to God, and set aside all such things as fear and shame. Give up such feelings as ‘what will people think of me if I dance in the ecstasy of God’s holy name?’ shame, hatred, fear, caste, pride, secretiveness, and the like are so many bonds.
7. After the birth of one or two children, husband and wife should live as brother and sister and talk only of God. Then both their minds will be drawn to God, and the wife will be a help to the husband on the path of spirituality. None can taste divine bliss without giving up his animal feeling. A devotee should pray to God to help him get rid of this feeling. It must be sincere prayer.

 
What Attitude:

1. Of Machine - Sri Ramakrishna said: ‘I am the machine’. One should become an instrument of the almighty. The instrument does good things, but does not think – ‘I have done this’. The attitude is – ‘I am the chariot, you are the charioteer. He asked them to perform their worldly duties with one hand, while holding to God with the other, and to pray to God to make their duties fewer and fewer so that in the end they might cling to Him with both hands.
2. Of discrimination - With the sward of discrimination-Not this, not this-and direct the whole mind to God. Discrimination is the reasoning by which one knows that God alone is real and all else, is unreal. Real means eternal, unchanging and unreal means impermanent, changing. God alone is real and all else is illusory. By discriminating thus, one should shake off impermanent objects from the mind. Women and gold (money) are impermanent. The body of a beautiful woman consists of bones, flesh, fat and other disagreeable things. Why should one love such a body? Women are manifestations of the Divine Mother; Regard them as your own mother.
3. Of charity - If a householder gives in charity in a spirit of detachment, he is really doing good to himself and not to others. It is God alone that he serves God, who dwells in all beings; and when he serves God, he is really doing good to himself and not to others. If a man thus serves God through all beings, not through men alone but animals other living beings as well; if he doesn’t seek name and fame, or heaven after death; if he doesn’t seek any return from those he serves; if he can carry on his work of service in this spirit-then he performs truly selfless service, work without attachment.
4. Of surrender - The major idea of the surrender is, ‘Accept the almighty as the guide of your life, and believe that He protects you’. There are two schools of thought on surrender. In the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, the comparison is made between baby monkey and baby cat. The baby monkey holds on to its mother. The mother monkey jumps from tree to tree and the baby hold on; whereas the baby cat sits somewhere and goes mewing and mewing. Wherever the mother takes it and puts the kitten, it remains. Similarly, a devotee surrenders to the almighty and says, ‘whatever you do is alright.

 
How to love God:

1. First stage is ‘Shraddha’. The beginner studies and hears. The company of holy men awakens Shraddha, faith in God. 
2. Second stage is ‘Nishtha’, single minded devotion to the ideal. The aspirant prays to God, meditates on Him, and sings. His name and glories. The devotee does not like to hear anything but talk about God. If one thinks of God day and night, he will acquire the nature of God. The vital point is restlessness. Brass pot must be polished every day; otherwise it gets stained.
3. The third stage is ‘Bhakti’. Bhakti is single-minded, unalloyed devotion to God. Through such devotion one’s mind and soul merge in Him. The cockroach becomes motionless by constantly meditating on the kumira worm; it loses the power to move. At last it is transformed into kumira. Similarly, by constantly meditating on God the bhakta loses his ego; he realizes that God is he and he is God. He attains the knowledge of oneness.
4. The fourth stage is ‘Bhava’, intense love. Through bhava a man become speechless. His nerve currents are stilled. Kumbhaka comes by itself.
5. The fifth stage is ‘Mahabhava’.
6. The sixth stage is ‘prema’, ecstatic love, is an extremely rare thing. One forgets the world. One even forgets one’s own body.”  that of the perfect soul. He has seen God, realized Him directly and immediately in his inner consciousness. The ordinary person does not experience mahabhava or prema. Only for Isvarakotis, such as the Incarnations, it is possible to have mahabhava or prema.
7. Last is the stage of the supremely perfect, like Chaitanya. Such devotee establishes a definite relationship with God, looking on Him as his Son or Beloved. The kundalini is speedily awakened if one follows the path of bhakti. God cannot be seen unless She is awakened. The realization of God gives ten million times more happiness. By daily prayer, you will come to long for God.

 
Reference: The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna – by Swami Nikhilananda